Barbie Fish

Svelte yet voluptuous. Thin but stacked. Toned and taut. Have you ever noticed that all the images of mermaids look like a Barbie doll with a fish tail?

Sorry to burst the picturesque bubble but there is at least one mermaid (or on some days, mermaid in process) who looks nothing like Barbie. This mermaid has gray hair, wrinkles, cellulite, a muffin top, and flabby abs. This mermaid will never look pretty in a seashell bra. It’s a difficult vision to reconcile, but after 60 years of gravity, lost hormones, sun, chemotherapy, and the everyday trials and stresses of land living - que sera sera -  it is what it is. Kermit and Elphaba may lament that it isn’t easy being green, but they don’t have a clue that it’s much harder being wrinkled. As I frequently cry, “I am way too young to be this old!”

So, reluctantly, I am learning to embrace my inner mermaid and accept the outer one. And while I know that much of the aging process is inevitable, I am also trying to put more effort into limiting the damage by trying to lose some weight, get back in exercise mode, and wear more sunscreen and moisturizer. Perhaps more importantly, I am taking time to rejoice in my saggy skin, scars, and age spots. To be proud of every gray hair I have earned. After all, they are proof of a life well lived. Of battles survived. Of a self-acceptance that lets me spend my money on plastic wine glasses, not plastic surgery. Yay! Celebrate me.

Or, perhaps mermaids are so fit simply because they swim all day. I guess that means I need to put more effort into the exercise part of the plan. Damn.